If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
