Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
