Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
