last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
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