Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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