So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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