Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
