they need to just BURY HIM!
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
