i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
