i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
