I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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