he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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