She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
