All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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