Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
