I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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