honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
