You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
operation harelip BJ is a go
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Still dying that you shit outside
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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