that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Define "chronic" masturbator.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
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