So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize