Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
