My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just high enough for therapy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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