Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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