my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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