When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
