Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
