i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
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