Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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