Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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