i'm signing you up for texting rehab
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
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