drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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