And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
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