I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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