i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
