capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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