I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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