it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.