Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.