Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'

  (708): View more from Illinois

  such a stalker...

  (248): View more from Michigan

  she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.

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  (248): I prefer the term 'tenderly watching' (708): such a stalker... (248): she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet. http://tfl.nu/m7cj
  Replies (2) Good night (1497) Bad night (950)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight

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  (847): Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight http://tfl.nu/3mek
  Replies (17) Good night (3173) Bad night (658)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....

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  (425): i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is.... http://tfl.nu/ar6t
  Replies (36) Good night (3201) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.

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  (417): I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous. http://tfl.nu/gmif
  Replies (32) Good night (4164) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got

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  (619): I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got http://tfl.nu/io78
  Replies (20) Good night (1342) Bad night (4157)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello

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  (585): Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello http://tfl.nu/squi
  Replies (17) Good night (1069) Bad night (9752)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk

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  (715): its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk http://tfl.nu/cy8n
  Replies (8) Good night (4011) Bad night (1056)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine

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  (337): Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine http://tfl.nu/2dy1
  Replies (4) Good night (1343) Bad night (1572)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.

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  (604): I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away. http://tfl.nu/d7d8
  Replies (5) Good night (653) Bad night (833)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy

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  (989): I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy http://tfl.nu/as9c
  Replies (5) Good night (2491) Bad night (591)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.

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  (410): I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful. http://tfl.nu/rt55
  Replies (5) Good night (534) Bad night (1840)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.

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  (410): It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole. http://tfl.nu/8vko
  Replies (16) Good night (763) Bad night (2186)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning

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  (816): took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning http://tfl.nu/ad92
  Replies (0) Good night (467) Bad night (337)
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.

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  (361): I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles. http://tfl.nu/6fue
  Replies (1) Good night (555) Bad night (218)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again

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  (212): Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again http://tfl.nu/l6pw
  Replies (1) Good night (282) Bad night (561)

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