I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said