Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?

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  (925) 2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you? http://tfl.nu/l1ls
  Replies (11) Good night (915) Bad night (1237)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties

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  (903): Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties http://tfl.nu/1e23
  Replies (74) Good night (812) Bad night (2168)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.

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  (509): Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico. http://tfl.nu/evuy
  Replies (13) Good night (5726) Bad night (1200)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"

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  (401): You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk" http://tfl.nu/xogg
  Replies (13) Good night (6290) Bad night (1167)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.

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  (636): I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle. http://tfl.nu/niba
  Replies (6) Good night (2369) Bad night (909)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.

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  (307): He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment. http://tfl.nu/tvxk
  Replies (1) Good night (1312) Bad night (2563)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.

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  (727): at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry. http://tfl.nu/0y0u
  Replies (8) Good night (2676) Bad night (914)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me

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  (319): You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me http://tfl.nu/8yrv
  Replies (4) Good night (1892) Bad night (1316)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day

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  (914): I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day http://tfl.nu/8r1c
  Replies (7) Good night (2650) Bad night (1463)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.

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  (573): Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos. http://tfl.nu/hx66
  Replies (18) Good night (2695) Bad night (693)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.

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  (503): Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here. http://tfl.nu/jknc
  Replies (13) Good night (1348) Bad night (700)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night

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  (603): Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night http://tfl.nu/dak1
  Replies (9) Good night (1830) Bad night (590)
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  (+81): View more from

  Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.

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  (+81): Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that. http://tfl.nu/zx1z
  Replies (3) Good night (631) Bad night (307)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me

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  (407): We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me http://tfl.nu/k2wx
  Replies (3) Good night (373) Bad night (524)
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  (867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

  Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?

  (1-867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

  Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".

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  (867): Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks? (1-867): Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time". http://tfl.nu/kj36
  Replies (0) Good night (750) Bad night (240)

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