why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
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I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
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Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.