I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
