Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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