My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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