What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
