Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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