Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
