just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Do vagina's smell?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
