so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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