I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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