white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
