Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I have aggressive nipples.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
