I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I would fuck him just for his dog
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
