I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
