he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
