Soap is not a condiment
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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