She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
