every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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