i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
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woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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