New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
even my farts smell like vagina
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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