Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
