You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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